“What
did he say?”
Amaka
turned to study my eager face. “You have a crush on him, don’t you?”
“Crush”
was mild. It did not come close to what I felt, how I felt, but I said, “Yes.”
“Like
every other girl on campus.”
I
tightened my grip on the railings. I knew Amaka would not tell me more unless I
asked. She wanted me to speak out more, after all. “What do you mean?” I asked.
“Oh
all the girls in church have crushes on him. Even some of the married women.
People have crushes on priests all the time, you know. It’s exciting to have to
deal with God as a rival.” Amaka ran her hand over the railings, smearing the
water droplets. “You’re different. I’ve never heard him talk about anyone like
that. He said you never laugh. How shy you are although he knows there’s a lot
going on in your head. He insisted on driving Mom to Enugu to see you. I told
him he sounded like a person whose wife was sick.”
“I
was happy that he came to the hospital,” I said. It felt easy saying that,
letting the words roll off my tongue. Amaka’s eyes still bored into me.
“It
was Uncle Eugone who did that to you, okwia?” she asked.
I
let go of the railings, suddenly needing to ease myself. Nobody had asked, not
even the doctor at the hospital or Father Benedict. I did not know what Papa
had told them. Or if he had even told them anything. “Did Aunty Ifeoma tell
you?” I asked.
“No,
but I guessed so.”
“Yes.
It was him,” I said, and then headed for the toilet. I did not turn to see
Amaka’s reaction.
- Pages 219-220
I chose this passage in particular because it is the moment where we truly see the culmination of the growth that has been happening in Amaka and Kambili's relationship. What started out as a scornful one-sided rivalry has flourished into Kambili's first real female friend, who respects her and thinks of her as an equal, with whom she can confide and discuss serious matters, but who also includes her in gossip, boy talk, and all of the teenage girl things that Kambili never had. As Amaka shows these signs of inclusion or even affection, Kambili not only grows more confident - "She wanted me to speak out, after all" - but also her stutter and nerves about speaking to her cousin (or anyone) disappear. For the first time, instead of preceding an interaction with "I wanted to say" or following it up with "I wish I had said," Kambili's feelings about her conversation with Amaka are that "the words roll[ed] off [her] tongue." This distinct difference in diction choice from Adichi contrasts the effective repetition she has used in Kambili's interaction to demonstrate her shyness and often regret as a consequence of said shyness. The use of the conversation about Father Amadi and crushes - something that Kambili has not only never discussed before, but never even really experienced - to establish trust between the two characters and to demonstrate to the reader that a barrier has been broken down between Amaka and Kambili, that Kambili has become grounded enough for Amaka, and Amaka in turn has become humanized enough for Kambili, works well in juxtaposition with the conversation about Kambili's father and how she ended up in the hospital. Kambili is no longer afraid to betray her father and be truthful about his deeds with Amaka. Her fear of her father was shattered when she defended the painting of her grandfather, and as it was Amaka's painting in the first place that gave her this strength, it is only fitting that Kambili's act of honesty about her father's deeds occurs prompted by Amaka as well.
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